#tbt Westlife, You Raise Me Up

Westlife the worst boyband ever

Despite having the 3rd highest number of number one singles after Elvis Presley and The Beatles, they remain the most bland and tasteless quintet to ever crawl out of Louis Walsh.

The only mildly interesting thing that ever happened was Bryan McFadden attempting a Robbie-lite when he left the band, his wife Kerry Katona (who I always get confused with Jade Goody) two young children, and ran off with that fancy Aussie singer Delta Goodrum. Unfortunately, this came off as painfully tragic – like a drunk relative at a wedding accidentally making a pass at you – rather than titillating or even vaguely exciting. And also, I know it’s not a competition, but JT started dating Cameron Diaz that same year.

‘All I was doing was drinking one cup of coffee after another, smoking 60 cigarettes a day, and listening to Keane.’  The new found rockstar rejoiced. And then he busted out this gem of a lyric from his first solo single: “Bullshit dinners and the free champagne/Men in suits who think they know it all/That’s not real to me”.

Still Friends
Still Friends

Yes, in the golden era of celebrity stalking (Paris Hilton’s fanny, meeting Kim Kardashian, the Britney breakdown etc) Westlife couldn’t conjure a single interesting column inch.

Even their final final final break up (after 14 long years) was uneventful. This from the Guardian.

‘Unfortunately for those of us trying to spin a news story out of this event, there are no reported fights, affairs or even creative differences to attribute the split to. Rather, it seems their parting is “amicable” and quite possibly based around the fact they can’t believe they’re still getting away with this rubbish after 14 years so best quit while they’re ahead.’

Among their many forgetful achievements, Westlife (the worst boy band ever) ruined 69 of someone else’s songs in their career. That’s 69 covers. 69.*snort*

Though deciding which track to pick for your #tbt is easy. That perennial favourite of reality TV producers everywhere ‘You Raise Me Up’ is the worst single from the worst boy band ever. Try not to cry.